The Dave Phenomenon explained?

Ah, hello.
At home at work. Just doing the usual. A lot of Dave’s again lately. How come this is the latest name being used as an alias? Is their choice influenced by Dave TV?
Are they secretly wanking off as they watch Jeremy Clarkson in the continuous back to back episodes of Top Gear? I suppose they are re-runs, so he is younger and slimmer, and we all know most men secretly like a bit of dick but just aren’t man enough to admit it.

Which reminds me, I heard a good joke the other day


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Jeremy Clarkson
Fuck off!


Well, I thought it was funny.

Oh, oh, did I tell you about the strangest request I’ve had yet? Hmm, maybe I should keep it for the book eh.

* * *

Its a few days later now- I’ve had a lot to do lately and it’s interfered with my work. Things should settle down by this time next week so I can start writing properly and working hard again. I’m keen to get cracking and earn some decent pennies as well as continue with my book.
I’ve been rather slack with the book. So many ideas in my head all bumping into each other, mingling, sharing more tales. It’s like there’s a reunion party of whores and druggies in my head and they’re all getting out of it and not making any sense.
Bastards didn’t invite me!

Well, it’s late. I have lots to do tomorrow so I must get some sleep.
Oh- one more caller…

I’m on the phone as I type. This bloke is going on about his big, fat nipples.
Is that supposed to turn me on? Ugh.
Of course I’m telling him I love them.

Damn, - lost him. Turns out he wanted to be my transsexual bitch. He could have just said so at the beginning. Saved a lot of time and would have prevented my mind from running away with me and picturing a man with obscenely fat nipples, when in fact he just meant breasts.
Now I have to go to sleep and try not to dream about fat nipples.